I asked a friend at Church the standard churchy question, "so how are you?" and she replied, "Enjoying life in the blink. Well, I'm over fifty, so half a blink." I love this woman. She is one of those people that has fire. Without pretension or self awareness, it is something other worldly, supernatural, and without apology. She is a lover of Christ. She is still Debbi, but the amplified version, the risen version. She would say, "my life is about Him. I bring nothing to the table, He is all I have, all I am, all I will be." Jesus Christ emanates from her. Sometimes He shines through almost too bright, too real, to the point you almost look for the comfort of one of your more insecure friends who knows how to hide behind small talk. But like an aimless moth, I am drawn to people like Debbi. I know just a few people like this, and immediately I want to warm up by their fire because its cold out here in the land of self, let's be honest.

The land of Self is shiny, even bedazzling for a while, and then leaves you feeling hungry and hollow and buried in regret. What you assumed would result in Self Love budded into Self Loathing. To the world it stands to reason if you feed Self, surround it with blind minions, you will feel less alone. You will fill the gap. Well, that's the motto of Self's ugly twin, Flesh.  Flesh is full of sugary anecdotes like that. "What feels right to you, is right, so go ahead, indulge! Follow your heart!" It's fast food for the soul. So delicious going down, but proves unfavorable to your midsection in the end.

 When I was a kid my parents did not indulge us with sugary treats. At school my brothers and I were the last kids anyone would want to trade with during lunch. "How about a small bag of rubbery baby carrots for that Ding-Dong? No? Really? Ok, I'll throw in half a celery stick slathered in natural peanut butter!" At home if the Sweet Tooth beckoned we were left to nibble on sweet grass like rabbits, or in our most desperate moments eat a crab apple. The name alone should give you pause. It's an angry uptight little fruit, and will leave you in the fetal position begging for milk of magnesia.

I blame my parents for my adult addiction to Dot's candy. I can no longer be trusted to buy them because I can't eat just one, not possible, I must eat the whole box. And not a small little fun size box, (which are ridiculous, like two Dots sharing a tiny Yellow Cab zipping toward your discontent..) no, I'm referring to the jumbo mother load box o' Dots, the ones the size of a VHS tape. There is something so satisfying when you finger the bottom and find that last red one hanging on for dear life. You shake it, it comes loose, and oh my, it might as well be Christmas. Then they are gone.  As quickly as I popped that last survivor, gut rot ensues with a vengeance. Followed by intense bloating, because I've just eaten my cat's weight in digestible plastic, Corn Syrup, and dye. I'm useless for the next four hours, bemoaning, "why? why oh why did I eat all those Dots?"  It's a horrible process and a sad display of the Flesh at its peak. Hi, my name is Laura, I am a Dot-aholic, and I had my last Dot six months ago. 

My spiritual life is pretty much the same battle. The Flesh will lead me down many a rabbit trail, following this or that desire that leads to nothing. Life in the Blink is the only alternative. Life in light of eternity, believing the words of Jesus when he said, "If you cling to your life you will lose it. If you lose if for my sake you will gain it." And not just an existence, but life to the FULL.  A life ruled by Self and Flesh, the twins of debauchery, with linked arms will happily skip you down a path leading only to death. So death must happen. Death to Self. Death to the Flesh, so Christ can live and move freely inside us. Along with the twins He drives out fear, self loathing, discontent, replaces them with joy, peace, and His righteousness. Life to the full. We are here only for a Blink, and then its over. A life so precious to Christ He died for it, so what is our purpose? In light of Eternity this short life has a divine destiny. To live for Christ, to die is gain.